THE BAKER'S TALE

They roused him with muffins--they roused him with ice--
  They roused him with mustard and cress--
They roused him with jam and judicious advice--
  They set him conundrums to guess.

When at length he sat up and was able to speak,
  His sad story he offered to tell;
And the Bellman cried "Silence! Not even a shriek!"
  And excitedly tingled his bell.

There was silence supreme! Not a shriek, not a scream,
  Scarcely even a howl or a groan,
As the man they called "Ho!" told his story of woe
  In an antediluvian tone.

"My father and mother were honest, though poor--"
  "Skip all that!" cried the Bellman in haste.
"If it once becomes dark, there's no chance of a Snark--
  We have hardly a minute to waste!"

"I skip forty years," said the Baker, in tears,
  "And proceed without further remark
To the day when you took me aboard of your ship
  To help you in hunting the Snark.

My Kingdom

Down by a shining water well
I found a very little dell,
  No higher than my head.
The heather and the gorse about
In summer bloom were coming out,
  Some yellow and some red.

I called the little pool a sea;
The little hills were big to me;
  For I am very small.
I made a boat, I made a town,
I searched the caverns up and down,
  And named them one and all.

And all about was mine, I said,
The little sparrows overhead,
  The little minnows too.
This was the world and I was king;
For me the bees came by to sing,
  For me the swallows flew.

I played there were no deeper seas,
Nor any wider plains than these,
  Nor other kings than me.
At last I heard my mother call
Out from the house at evenfall,
  To call me home to tea.

And I must rise and leave my dell,
And leave my dimpled water well,
  And leave my heather blooms.
Alas! and as my home I neared,
How very big my nurse appeared.
  How great and cool the rooms!

Windy Nights

Whenever the moon and stars are set,
  Whenever the wind is high,
All night long in the dark and wet,
  A man goes riding by.
Late in the night when the fires are out,
Why does he gallop and gallop about?

Whenever the trees are crying aloud,
  And ships are tossed at sea,
By, on the highway, low and loud,
  By at the gallop goes he.
By at the gallop he goes, and then
By he comes back at the gallop again.

STARTING A PROFITABLE "BIG MAIL" SERVICE

When you've been running a mail order business for a while, if you're doing 
it right, you should have a bunch of your own offers, plus other dealer's 
offers and co-published ad sheets to send out. What's the best way to get 
these to your customers? In a "big mail."

What's a "big mail"? Just like it sounds, it's an envelope stuffed with 
offers, ad sheets, freebie reports, etc. It's big, hence the name. You 
will get better results from your mailings if you mail this way. Also, your 
expenses will be lower.  

Here's an analogy: Sending out one flyer in an envelope is like shooting with 
a rifle. You have one chance to hit that customer with something he or she will want. 

Sending a big mail is like shooting with a shotgun. You shoot multiple 
shots at once. If your customer doesn't like the first offer, they'll go 
on to the next one. 

The Tortoise and the Birds

A Tortoise desired to change its place of residence, so he
asked an Eagle to carry him to his new home, promising her a rich
reward for her trouble. The Eagle agreed and seizing the Tortoise
by the shell with her talons soared aloft. On their way they met
a Crow, who said to the Eagle: "Tortoise is good eating." "The
shell is too hard," said the Eagle in reply. "The rocks will soon
crack the shell," was the Crow's answer; and the Eagle, taking the
hint, let fall the Tortoise on a sharp rock, and the two birds
made a hearty meal of the Tortoise.

Never soar aloft on an enemy's pinions.

The Lion and the Mouse

Once when a Lion was asleep a little Mouse began running up
and down upon him; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge
paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him. "Pardon, O
King," cried the little Mouse: "forgive me this time, I shall
never forget it: who knows but what I may be able to do you a turn
some of these days?" The Lion was so tickled at the idea of the
Mouse being able to help him, that he lifted up his paw and let
him go. Some time after the Lion was caught in a trap, and the
hunters who desired to carry him alive to the King, tied him to a
tree while they went in search of a waggon to carry him on. Just
then the little Mouse happened to pass by, and seeing the sad
plight in which the Lion was, went up to him and soon gnawed away
the ropes that bound the King of the Beasts. "Was I not right?"
said the little Mouse.

Little friends may prove great friends.

A NEW TYPE OF GIFT BASKET GUARANTEED TO BRING IMPRESSIVE PROFITS!

The gift basket industry has exploded over the past few years and 
continues to be a consistent money maker for those involved in it. In many 
ways, it's the ideal business. You can run it from the home. It's an 
extremely inexpensive business to start (you only need supplies and a 
marketing budget). The product is in demand (who doesn't like getting 
an artistic basket with fresh fruit, candies, or cheeses?). Competition 
isn't much of a problem (you can easily set yourself off from the rest by 
producing specialized types of baskets). It's a dynamic business that is 
changing and developing with the times.
   
One of the newest developments is the CANDY FLOWER BASKET. This is 
a new type of gift basket that will definitely set you apart from your 
competition. It's very artistic and creative, and pretty, too! The Candy 
Flower Basket is easy to make, and will turn heads wherever it is given.
   
Here's what you need for a Candy Flower Basket: You'll need a 
basket, of course, preferably around the size of a medium to large flower 
pot (remember, we'll have "flowers" here). Next, a large piece of flower 
arranging or art styrofoam, large enough to fit in the bottom of the basket, 
filling it well and reaching up to around 3 inches below the lip of the 
basket. Also, plenty of stiff, green wire used in flower arranging; green 
flower tape; 2 1/2" green wood sticks, pointed on one end, blunt on the 
other; thin wire; a good supply of different wrapped hard candies, 
preferably with colorful wrappers (yellow, orange, red, pink, and other 
"flower" colors are best); and, finally, a LOT of bright, colorful 
cellophane sheets (green and red, especially). Many of these supplies 
can be found at craft stores or flower arranging supply stores.
   
First, we'll make our candy flowers. Cut the stiff green wire into 
1 foot lengths. Make around 15 for a decent size basket. Now, sort your 
candies by wrapper color. You'll need 5 or 6 candies per wire. Take one 
of the candies and hold one twisted end of the wrapper against the end of 
the wire. Now, wrap the green floral tape tightly around the wrapper and 
wire a few times. Don't tear the tape; once the candy is firmly attached 
to the wire, continue the tape down the wire and wrap another candy around 
1 to 1 1/2 inches below the first, depending on how many candies you'll put 
on the wire. Continue this down the wire. When you've wrapped 5 or 6 of 
the same candies on the top half of the wire, trail your tape off another 
inch or two on the wire. You've just made your first candy flower! Set that 
one aside and start on the next one. Try to have at least 4 different types 
of candies, so all the flowers won't be the same color.
   
Next, wrap the styrofoam in green cellophane and put it into the 
bottom of the basket. Take your colored cellophane sheets and cut around 
fifty 6" x 10" rectangles. Don't worry about making them perfectly sized.  
Take one of the rectangles and loosely fold it in half the short way (to 
make a 6" x 5" rectangle) and then in half the long way (to make a 3" x 5" 
rectangle). Don't crease the folds, and again, don't worry about being 
perfect _ it'll look better if it's not. Insert this rectangle into one 
of the open spaces closed point down (the point that would be the center 
of the rectangle, if it was unfolded.

  Do this with 20 to 25 of the rectangles, until the open spaces are filled, though not tightly. Fluff the open corners of the rectangles out. Now, insert your flowers into the 
styrofoam. Space them out evenly, and put around four inches of the wire 
down into the foam, so it's secure. Here's a tip _ slightly curve the wire 
and insert it at a slight angle, so the flowers sit realistically. Real 
flower bouquets don't stand straight up. Finally, take one of the remaining 
cellophane rectangles, and fold it in the same way as you did with the "fill-
in" rectangles. Now, take one of the short green sticks and a six inch 
length of the thin copper wire. Wrap the wire three or four times around 
the blunt end of the stick, around 1/8" from the end. Put around 1/2" of 
the closed corner of the rectangle against the blunt end of the stick, and 
wrap the remaining wire tightly around it. Insert this in the styrofoam, 
in between the flowers. Do this with the remaining rectangles, cutting 
more if necessary to completely hide the styrofoam and fill out the basket.  
When done, fluff the open corners out. You now have a Candy Flower Basket!  
The best thing about this is the fact that it looks BETTER after the candy 
is removed! Put a note in with your basket suggesting that people unwrap 
only the unattached end of the wrapper to remove a candy. The candies look 
like buds while they're wrapped; they look like blooming flowers with the 
candy removed! Try it with one of your flowers and you'll see!
   
Take into account the cost of your supplies and your time when 
pricing your Candy Flower Basket. These can be a bit time-consuming, but 
you can always make a large stock of flowers and fill-in "greenery" ahead 
of time while watching TV. Or, get some friends involved. Baskets like 
this can easily be sold for $25 to $40, depending on the size of the basket, 
with only a few dollars worth of supplies. Their uniqueness will definitely 
be an important selling point. Make a few baskets of different sizes up, 
for sales examples.
   
Candy Flower Baskets can be a great addition to your line, if you 
already produce gift baskets, or they can be a fantastic way to start out 
in this profitable business. And don't think it's just for women; there 
are many men who are producing great gift baskets out there. Anyone, 
young or old, can produce these baskets and make massive profits...and have 
a lot of fun in the process!

MANAGING YOU 1-800 TOLL-FREE SERVICE

Aside from cost, or the fact that having an outside answer you business 
calls, there are some smart rules regarding 800-lines and how you should 
handle them.

Keep 800 lines in-house when the product is technical or when consumers are 
likely to ask a lot of questions. 

Only a hire a service bureau when the volume of calls in moderate, less, 
or comes in cyclical pattern. Personnel and space needs for an in-house 
operation may be greater than what your business can currently afford.
One advatange of using an independent service bureau to handle your calls 
is that it is a fixed cost tied in to the call itself. Unlike having an 
operator sit in the office 8 hours a day, the amount you pay a service 
bureau is limited only to the number of calls they handle for you.

If you were to establish an in-house operation, your phone clerks should use 
a video-terminal that displays information about the product as well as the 
customer.
   
Your 800-lines should be staffed until 5pm Pacific Time, three hours later 
than many copanies in the East Coast have closed. Also, think of offering 
promotional call days to help boost sales and direct sales during certain 
hours or certain days of the week.

Pre-Paid Long Distance

The next money-maker in the long distance telephone business will be 
focused on the way we buy and pay for long distance service.
PAY PHONES & OTHER STUFF
In the last 4 years, technological advancement in telecommunications 
services has opened doors for entrepreneurs to make money selling Ma 
Bell's services.
Private-Party-owned Pay Phones spread like wildfire, and 25Cent-Per-Minute 
Long Distance Flat Rate Billing was introduced and gobbled up by an excited 
marketplace.
PAY NOW, CALL LATER
Pre-Paid Long Distance service is nothing more than a marketing person's 
dream of being able to charge for something that need not be delivered 
right away.
Here's how it works:
  1) You walk into a convenience store and buy a Phone Card for $10, or any 
  denomination it is being sold.
  2) When the time comes for you to use the card, simply dial the toll-free 
  800 number and enter the 14-digit code printed on the card.
  3) An automated operator's voice comes on the line and announces that you 
  have $10 worth of long distance calling available to you.
  4) A dial tone comes on and you enter the area code and phone number you 
  want to call.
PLUS & MINUS
Pre-Paid Long Distance and collecting Phone Cards are now a big craze in 
Japan. Phone Cards are now being traded like baseball cards, with values 
in excess of $1,000. Companies giveaway free long distance service as 
premiums and incentives, and then print their names on the Cards that they 
giveaway.
But in spite of all thes fads, Pre-Paid Long Distance has some built-in 
disadvantages that need to be corrected to guarantee its success.
Here are a few:
  1) We are a credit-based society. We are not accustomed to paying in 
  advance for services we are not using at the time of purchase. 
  2) The rates marketing companies are charging are relatively higher than 
  basic phone company rates.
  3) As a business, long distance resellers and marketers will be competing 
  for the same consumer "penny".
Mixed with something novel or commercially accepted, pre-paid phone cards 
may just make it big in the U.S

a quality recording

The bottom line is simply this: Don't be adverse to creating a story or set of circumstances if it results in a talk show appearance or newspaper write-up for you.

 How much should you charge for your services? Basically, the going rate in most large metropolitan areas is about $5O per hour you spend on the assignment. Thus, you're going to have to learn to estimate pretty accurately just how long each job is going to take you to produce a quality recording. It's always a good idea to check out what other video taping services in your area, or in a comparably sized city in your neighboring states are charging. Newsletters and trade publications serving businesses of this type are available, however, we don't know of any that have attained national prominence as of the date of this report. Check with your equipment supplier on any that he might know of...

 Success with a business of this kind does not require an office set-up or any special education or training. You can start it on a part-time basis from your home, and parlay it into a full time, very high profit profession. The prestige this business will afford you is similar to that of a doctor.

 Starting with a young couple's wedding, if you follow up on each sale properly, you'll probably end up making tapes for the birthdays of each of their children, school graduations, anniversaries, more birthdays, family histories, last wills & testaments, and into a whole new cycle with each generation.

 You will need imagination, an affinity for people and selling moxie. Imagination is important because in many instances, you'll have to suggest an idea for your taping services. Although just about everybody would like to have a taped record of some event or part of their life to pass along to future generations of their family, most will not be able to decide what to tape until you suggest something to them. You'll also find that almost no one is aware of even half your capabilities until you make suggestions.

 Taking pictures of people requires an ability to get along well with people - get them to relax, and immediately feel comfortable in your presence. You've got to be persuasive while exercising a great deal of tact and diplomacy. Make friends easily and quickly. Be aware of, and understanding of wants, desires and ambitions.

 Actually, selling and getting along with people, are almost synonymous. Life is an on-going program of selling yourself to achieve your own wants and ambitions. Read a few good books on the art of selling, such as: HOW TO SELL YOURSELF by Steve Girard; and HOW TO SELL ANYTHING TO ANYBODY by Tom Hopkins. Remember, selling is really just a matter or recognizing someone's needs and then satisfying those needs with a product or service.

 Your customers will automatically accept it as fact, that you have the professional knowledge and equipment to fulfill their needs. All you have to do is reassure them, listen to their reasons for these needs, and in closing the sale, become a good friend to them.

 And that's it - the plan that can enable you to get started with your own Video Taping Service. By following our suggestions, and with a bit of energy as well as persistence, you should be able to begin with very little start-up investment and quickly
begin to realize the fruits of your own profitable business.

 If you have any questions, or run into special problems, please feel free to call me.

bumper sticker

This is the kind of business that might grow out of a conversation over a couple of beers at your favorite tavern. Imagine for a moment this scenario: Someone suggests that the owner should sponsor a summer picnic or softball game. The question then comes up as to how to advertise it, and someone suggests bumper stickers. And the basics of a very lucrative business are set in motion.

 As you consider this idea for a source of income, your first decision will be whether to first line up people willing to "wear" the bumper stickers on their cars, or the business owners who will want to advertise in this manner.

 A good friend of ours started such a business several years ago, and he found it easier to sell the business owner by telling him that 100 to 200 people were all set and willing to wear his bumper sticker advertisement, because such people were known to be
in the area.

 All this boils down to a recommendation that you talk to your friends, neighbors and co-workers first. Get as many of them as you can to agree to "wear" a bumper sticker. You might offer to pay them $10 for three months, or $5 for six weeks . With induce ment of money just to put a bumper sticker on their cars or trucks, you won't have too many turndowns. One person we know runs an ad in his weekly shopper newspaper, advertising the fact that he pays money just for "wearing" a bumper sticker. And of course, don't overlook the pulling power of all the bulletin boards in your area businesses.

 This is an ideal business for constant free publicity write-ups in your local newspapers, plus interviews on radio and TV talk shows. At first, you'll want as many people as possible to "wear" bumper sticker ads. What you'll want to stress in any publicity write-ups or media interviews is the fact that you've got the "vehicles for exposure" lined up and organized so that any potential advertiser needs only to give you a call, and you can launch his advertising program immediately.

 Next, you check with a number of printers and determine the cost to have bumper stickers made to order. Generally, you should be able to get a thousand bumper stickers for $100 or less. Whatever the cost, this initial outlay should be absorbed by your charge to the advertiser.

 So let's suppose you've got 100 people lined up to "wear" one of these bumper stickers on their cars for six weeks. Figure the bumper stickers will cost $100. Now, the problem of what to charge the advertiser.

 You should always charge on a "per car" basis, i.e., on a basis of circulation, as newspapers do. So, you could charge $5 per car per week, with 100 cars. This comes out to $500 per week, or $3,000 total over six weeks, from the advertiser. Subtract $100 for getting the bumper stickers made, and $500 as payment for the cars "wearing" the bumper stickers, and you would end up with a profit picture of $2,400 for those six weeks.

 In the beginning, you should be the one calling on potential advertisers and doing all the selling. Once you've got your first program organized and running smoothly, your next step is a natural multiplication of your efforts. Run an ad in your local paper for commission sales people. Brief them on the basics and get them out on the street selling advertisers for you.

 The best time to launch a business of this kind is during the fair weather seasons, or just in advance of general political elections in your area. Once established, however, the business can, and should sustain itself year round.

 The selling "keys" to this kind of advertising are basically the same as those enumerated for "word of mouth" advertising. You've got people all over town spreading the word - talking about the advertiser. And these people are saturating the area with the
advertiser's name and message wherever they go.